People Search the Darndest Things


Each blog has its own micro-zeitgeist (that’s a word that I just made up, or neologized) that gives an insight into its place in the larger scheme of things, and this one is no different. Like most of the human race, I like to look at my Google Analytics data every now and then, perhaps as an aid to introspection, or perhaps because they look very pretty. Looking at the search queries that bring people here, I see some queries that have an answer/solution here, and I hope that the inquirer had to look no further. There are queries that I could have answered in a closely related post, but chose not to, and there are queries that make me wonder about the inquirer’s mental health. There’s also a lot of raw material and leads for possible blog posts, but that’s for real bloggers, not me.

Since I have a few free minutes, let me share a small slice of search strings with you, in decreasing order of popularity, and the replies-that-never-were… because I have nothing better to do.

  • PTCL Triple Play Project – This is the top query, perhaps because I am one of the rare semi-satisfied PTCL customers. PTCL should pay me to put up a banner here, or maybe not.
  • Lahore Bomb Blast – I wish the circumstances that generate this query never existed
  • Microsoft Reader Wine There are a lots of avid book readers who use Linux and read ebooks. I hope this query helped save a few trees, and a few eyes – with the superior font-rendering.
  • Benazir Killer – I don’t know who killed her, but search for ‘UN finds Benazir Killer’ in a few years, and you still won’t get any results.
  • Iftar TimingIt took me about 15 minutes to set up an iftar alert system on Twitter for Lahore iftar timings. It got 11 other followers. I never knew so many people fasted in Lahore!
  • Sohaib AtharThank you! for spelling my name correctly.
  • Benazir’s killer – Seriously, I don’t know!
  • wateen vs. PTCL – I seriously hope you didn’t go for Wateen, not after reading their reviews
  • Aafia Siddiqui pictures – Seems like we have forgotten all about her and graduated to Zardari-bashing
  • Athar C Clarke – How did you manage that typo?!
  • Free website hacker – Is it the website or the hacker that should be free?
  • Afghan virtual com – They are a very real ‘com’!
  • How to bring peace to Pakistan – Forget about peace, let us search for Benazir’s killers first, and OBL, don’t forget Bin Laden
  • Peace in Pakistan – 404
  • Zardari Spelling Mistake Oh Gaad! not again!
  • Benazir Killer Picture – I never pictured her as a killer… oh, nevermind
  • How ivrs help in banking – By helping to retain their customer’s money for a few more minutes?
  • KDE4 firefox ugly – Hey! how dare you! it is the most beautiful browser ever!
  • Move TaskManager Widget – Tell it a sad story?
  • Musharraf Lovers – Musharraf who?
  • Skype bombing kubuntu – Not all bombings are linked to Pakistan…
  • Gaad Zardari – Don’t call him that! its blasphemy!
  • Like Fitna – No I don’t
  • OLPC HCI study – Give me one of the proposed new design and I’ll do it. For free!
  • Chain of thought or train of thought? – Graph of thought I say…
  • 3d pics of flag of pakistan with waving – Oh puhleez, are you a designer making a website?
  • Adult songs for kids – Huh?
  • Any research on procrastination in pakistan – Are you that desperate to find evidence on why not to outsource to Pakistan?
  • Apologizing to a boss – Do it in your resignation letter
  • Armored burka – Wow, why didn’t I think of that?!
  • Best way to install kubuntu 8.04 on xp computer – Remove XP. Install Kubuntu
  • Bilal Musharraf bastrad – Forget him, there’s a new bastrad in town now.
  • Ipod not detected in virtualbox – Apple doesn’t want it to be detected there
  • Is it offensive to dress in a burka – Perhaps, if you live in the US of A, or France
  • Islam humor Tshirts – Islam and humor don’t mix – try ‘ridicule Islam T shirts’
  • IVR talk like a pirate – Yarrrr! Press four me hearty!
  • KDE4 system tray broke – Mine wasn’t whole to begin with
  • KDE4 can’t get rid of a plasmoid – Hire a killer
  • LESCO loadshedding schedule – Schedule?! hahahahahahaha
  • Old people caring home in Lahore – Sorry, that culture has not arrived here, yet… get rid of your parents elsewhere
  • Webhost4life email doesn’t work – Their server IPs are blacklisted. Switch your host
  • What does the moon and star symbolize in Pakistan – Our pagan roots
  • Where did burkas come from – Why do you want to know?
  • What Wateen ask in test and interview – Don’t worry, the job is practically yours, you are a good fit
  • Where is Bobby Fischer today – Searching for him? He’s dead
  • Where is Musharraf these daysHere are a few of his recent pictures
  • Why do banks use IVR – To make more money
  • Why burka? – Why the hell not?
  • Why MSWord can’t run on linux – Why do you want to run it on Linux?
  • Why Pakistan flag has moon on it – To moon the other flags
  • Will linux support microsoft reader – Microsoft won’t let it
  • Blast last time in Lahore – I wish!

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