Bomb Blast in Lahore Targets Jews and Barbarians

Last night, some terrorists succeeded in planting three time-bombs in the Garhi Shahu area in Lahore, an area that is 4-5 kilometers away from my house. Thankfully, nobody had died until the last update.

I  had to turn on the idiot box (after many months) to catch the live report, and was lucky enough to witness the uber-intelligent reporters standing inside the shop that was destroyed. Using their extremely intelligent brains, and standing on top of the scene of the blast without caring about forensic evidence, they decreed that “The bombs were planted to create panic in the common citizens”.

I think they are wrong, and I have an alternate theory. It involves the terrorists’ big boss telling them to “destroy all jews and barbarians” over a noisy phone connection. Since the terrorists aren’t any good at spelling (which is probably why they chose the easier career of terrorism instead of a banking career) and since their hearing has been impaired by all the noise from the practice blasts, the bomb-planters got a little bit lost in translation and ended up destroying a juice corner and barber shop.

Death to the Juice
Death to the Juice

I hope they will learn from their mistakes, recalibrate their bombs and consider keeping a dictionary with them at all times, because Gaad knows, they need one. Meanwhile, here is today’s condemnation press release from our belowered president. You know you like them!

10 thoughts on “Bomb Blast in Lahore Targets Jews and Barbarians”

  1. Yaseen, can you elaborate on that?
    Are you saying that this blast did not happen, or do you mean Lahore can be classified as ‘safe’ despite these “small” bomb blasts?
    Do you mean that if Shahbaz is NOT the CM, Lahore would suddenly become UNsafe? Do you think that we can perhaps make other cities and provinces safe as well by appointing Shahbaz as their CM?
    I’m confused. Please elaborate if you are around.

  2. Nice Blog !! *was just about to say something nasty* hehehehe.

    Not about you or your blog…About some touchy/emotional dude, who is on “our” contact lists 🙂 but then i thought writing over here won’t do the damage. LOL

  3. Thanks Anika. So you finally discovered my blog 😀
    Each time I try to kill this blog, somebody encouraging like you comes along 😀 I think this blog will die of old age rather than suicide.
    I wonder which dude you’re talking about. /me scratches head.

  4. the dude who keeps earning moeny and keeps showing off….. i hope he doesn’t read it 🙂 LOL

    Dude “if” you are reading it , i was just joking man! LOL

  5. After the 3 blasts in Lahore that happened an hour ago, I think the only way to stabilize our country is to stay firm and not let these blasts shake us and achieve their purpose.
    For those who don’t agree, running away from this country has always been an option. 🙂

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